Is this happening to you two? Have you got so used to being a family, which, of course, is wonderful and rewarding but could also mean that you forget what it’s like to be just the two of you?
Remember….once you were a couple?! You had lots of time together for dates and yummy cuddles and making love. It was much less complicated. Now, finding your couple time, making it happen, can be a real challenge.
It requires each of you to be fully motivated to find that time and make it happen.
It requires both of you to contribute to nurturing and taking care of your special, unique relational space. It’s still there somewhere, believe me!
When you are alone, it’s easy to drop into talking about the children and leave yourselves out. Of course, it’s vital to talk about your children. That’s what makes you lovely parents. However, talking about you two is very vital too. Sharing bonding time together talking about your aspirations, plans, feelings and giving each other great listening is what you need to keep alive your couple-ness
This video is about a couple at a later stage of family life. Their kids have both left home and gone to University. They had got into a family orientated style of connecting around their boys and, without them, don’t quite know how to find each other again. They both have, of course, come from a family of origin, as we all have and that shapes who we are in relation to family and relationships. Maybe when we feel a bit lost or unsure how to reconnect, we can get into these more set habits of relating. It’s somehow easier to fall back on these than make a big effort to re-ignite your couple closeness or find out how to light the flame if it has grown dim.
Most of what we do is a combination of what’s happening currently e.g. being engrossed in raising a family and, who we are on a deep level and the adaptations we’ve made from our past.
So, take a look and see what kind of conversation it brings up for the two of YOU. You may see yourselves here or feel great relief that you have truly maintained your couple-ness in the midst of all the hustle and bustle of family life. I’d love to hear your comments so pop over to my blog and leave your thoughts there for me to read.
Take care of yourselves and your unique relational space.
With love
Priya xx
PS If you would like a reminder about how to look after your relational space, take a look at the video.