What is LOVE?

We are coming up to the holiday season, a time when we hope for peace, and togetherness with those we love….and fun!

However, all around us, there is uncertainty, fear and lack of integrity.

So much that we cannot easily sit with. I struggle with reading the news because it’s either crazy or distressing, but then I feel guilty if I’m not in touch with what’s happening out there.

Is anyone resonating with that?

But more and more, I’m realising that the confusion of “out there” needs to be firmly balanced with what’s happening “in here,” within myself, within my partner and in our relationship.

“In here” feels like the place to focus on more than ever right now.

What does that look like?

Yesterday, we had a couple visit us for the first time, having met at a social gathering and experienced a click of potential friendship.

This is a couple who couldn’t be more different from one another. One being extrovert and artistic, the other being shy and practical.

Their deep listening and appreciation of one another were tangible. They recognised their different styles as a richness and a complementing of one another.

They also spoke of a deep foundation of trust and safety.

And I said:

“This is LOVE”.

As some of you know, my 20-year relationship is one of big differences, my partner having ADHD, otherwise known as a very unpredictable, never boring roller coaster!

This provides me with a rich and challenging journey of learning to be curious and accepting.

And, often, to stand back and stay with my own flow.

There are differences and challenges in all relationships, simply because there are two of you in it! Finding ways that create harmony and closeness, rather than disconnection and separateness is not easy for sure.

Too often when disconnection overrides, intimacy takes a back seat and love loses its place.  Yet intimacy is where that deep foundation of trust and safety grows from.  It is where love is!  

If we can allow intimacy to be integrated into the relationship as a foundation, rather than only when we are feeling good together, then we potentially feel much warmer, more whole and open to love.

This is how you know what love is.

How to nurture and grow LOVE:

You may have seen my Festive Intimacy Curve before, but I confess to wanting to share it again at this time of the year!

It depicts what we can so easily forget as a couple……that, as humans, we are wired to bond deeply, even with our challenges. It doesn’t have to be complicated. There are so many small and larger ways in which to reach out and connect with our partners.

Intimate expressions of love take us to the safety and joy of feeling we belong. 

This is Relationship AND LOVE!

The Festive Intimacy Curve gives you hints that help you maintain the yummiest relationship possible with your special partner.

It highlights the ways you can travel together up the curve, creating physical and emotional closeness, day by day, Of course, you may not get to the top of the curve every day! Intimacy is a wonderful journey in itself and sex can be the extra delightful icing on the cake!