This story is about a real couple and illustrates something that comes up quite frequently in my session room.
These are the kinds of phrases I often hear:
- “She doesn’t really get me or what’s going on for me.”
- “He’s always immersed in his own stuff… I feel second best.”
- “I don’t actually feel seen a lot of the time.”
- “He rarely shows me empathy or understanding.”
- “She often doesn’t notice me; she’s so in her head.”
- “He forgets to say hello to me when he comes home. He just wants to get to his relaxation spot.”
These comments point to an almost dreamy kind of state where awareness and being present are not given priority. It’s understandable, especially as there is usually a lot going on for couples, particularly with children around. In the speediness of busy lives, transition times, like leaving and returning home, can often be hard to deal with. Disconnected habits can settle in all too easily and unawareness becomes the norm.
We need to bring ourselves fully to one another, look at and really see and take in our partner, especially if we haven’t been with them for a while. This real couple’s story is all about this theme and I think you may find it useful.
With love to you and your unique relationship
Priya xx