You may remember this topic and video (which you can view below) from a year ago. Well, it seems to me that it’s an issue that keeps on coming back in the relationship world, and finds it’s way into my couple therapy sessions frequently.
“Looking after that very precious relationship of yours, which you have created together, is vital.”
It needs your input to enable it to be the best it can possibly be.
The potential we humans have to be part of a deep, intimate and satisfying relationship is, in my book, a sacred and beautiful thing. I call this potential: being in a “Relational Space”. It’s different from a relationSHIP, which can feel static and heavy going at times. We are IN “the ship”, but influencing it and making it move or change direction, can sometimes be very hard work. Think of the Titanic!!
On the other hand, Relational Space is softer and more flowing………
Couples need to own the presence of their unique Relational Space. It’s theirs and flows between them continuously. If we put the emphasis on the space, (not the ship!), we experience it as a fluid, flowing, changeable, growthful, alive environment that needs loving attention for it to be all those wonderful things.
Both partners are equally responsible for this unique entity and need to look after it with loving awareness. Then it starts to feel within your grasp, empowering and completely possible to create it the way you both truly want it to be.
“If we desire colourful flowers in our garden, and simply throw the seeds onto the earth and walk away and give them no further attention, they would struggle to become the flowers we would love to see. They, of course, need watering, feeding and lots of loving attention. In other words: nurturing. It’s the same with relationships, they must be nurtured.”
If you are a fully signed up, committed partner in your relational space, then you need to take it on as being half yours. It’s a job share of the most unknown and often challenging kind. Feeding it love, acceptance, understanding and kindness will reap the most glorious rewards.
So, sit down together and talk about what you each want to contribute to the very special project of your Relational Space. Get really creative and have fun on the journey!
By the way, it’s about the everyday stuff as well as the bigger, more infrequent events. Think “How can I nurture this unique environment of ours?” and you will find the input flows from you both into the space that’s yours and towards each other.
Click onto my blog here and let me know how you are getting on with nurturing your Relational Space.
With love to you and your relationship (relational space, I mean!)
Priya xx