Hello and Welcome to Encounter No 1 – Sweet Contact
Have you got your date booked to do this together? Take about 15-20 minutes for this… or as long as you like!
I suggest you read this text together a couple of times to get a sense of it and then use the video to guide you. Feel free to pause it at any time if you would like to go more slowly. This is your Encounter to adapt in a way that works for you both. Do please keep to the basic format though… taking time, making eye contact, breathing, reaching out. And, you can, of course, do this as many times as you like. It could become a regular way of meeting each other.
I hope you’ve managed to create that special sacred space, suggested in my last mail out. It’s a good idea to turn off mobile phones and distracting devices at this point. Go to your special space together now and take some time to get comfy and settled down together.
Sweet Contact is about finding a deeper place of meeting your partner. When life is hectic, there is often no room just to be close together, to feel intimate and connected without being sexual.
1.Begin by each closing your eyes and taking a few deep and slow breaths. Settle yourself comfortably into your own body. Stay with yourself for at least 3 minutes.
2. Now gently open your eyes and make eye contact with one another. Oh, there you are! Where have you been?! You could almost imagine that you’re seeing one another for the very first time! An unusual idea that may take you to all sorts of appreciations that you discover as you gaze at your partner’s face. It’s new and fresh to you, so take it very slowly and simply stay with connecting and gazing at one another for a while. All the time breathe slowly and deeply.
3. Maybe a natural “reaching out” happens. One of you may feel like reaching out gently and stroking your partner’s cheek, or lightly stroking their shoulders.This is Sweet Contact. See what flows for you both in this encounter. It may be very subtle and feel so good just to be together in this simple way.
4. To end, I suggest you put your arms around each other, pull your partner gently towards you, so you are wrapped up together. I like to call this a melting hug… slow and connected for several minutes, breathing slowly.
5. Afterwards, you might want to each tell each other how this encounter felt for you, each taking a turn to share and the other one listening. The idea of taking turns to share and listen is a valuable one.
Most of all, enjoy yourselves.
Here is what one couple had to say:
We did ‘Sweet Contact’. I think we both felt a bit self-conscious to start with but we were both keen to try it out and settled into it with the breathing. When it came to the touching, M just playfully pushed my nose like a button and I said maybe he could try something a bit more gentle and he stroked my shoulders and arms which felt really nice. I stroked his hair and face and brought my hands down to hold his hands for the finishing part of the activity. Then we had a really nice hug. We both agreed that it was a worthwhile thing to do. We do often hug and hold hands but it was good to specifically stop and pay specific attention to one another. ” – J and M.
I would love to hear from you too once you’ve done the exercise, so please do comment!
With love to you and your relationship,