As I sit in my conservatory in my new home, I see delightful signs of Spring opening all around me. The buds on the trees and shrubs, the nesting activity of my local seagulls, the sky lightening up and giving us more of the warming sunshine we love.
I find myself opening too in energy and spirit. I want to explore the countryside, walk by the sea, meet friends outdoors rather than inside. I guess we all, no doubt have our own version of a Spring awakening.
So, what about your relationship? Is it unfurling gently and opening to the new season? What can you give it to help that freshness and newness shine through?
Remember the idea I’ve mentioned before, that in relationship with your partner you exist together in your own unique Relational Space. This belongs totally to you two and, for it’s growth and well-being, needs both of you to nurture and support it.
So, how can you nurture your own special Relational Space for Spring right now??
As you might expect… I have a few ideas…
Spring Into Touch
Sometimes touch can be so rare in couples that it gets put into a box called “only when leading to sex” and forgotten about the rest of the time. That’s a real shame for two main reasons:
We all need touch every day; it warms us up like the Spring sunshine and if touch is almost always associated with being sexual, that is such a loss of a vital need plus it can have a negative effect on your sexual life as a couple.
Ideally, fun touch and affectionate touch like unexpected hugs, snuggles on the sofa, shoulder caresses and sweet kisses, can be regular natural occurrences just for themselves because we like them!!
So, try becoming a tactile couple, surprising and awakening each other with delightful and sweet touch lovingly offered and received.
Shaping Your Time
If time seems to drift away all too easily and you wonder where it went, and where the two of you went… I suggest some shaping. This can be for an evening or a weekend afternoon for example. Give the period of time (a few hours works best) a shape eg. “We’ll each do some tasks for 2 hours, then let’s meet on the sofa and have some together time to look at holiday plans. I have till 11 when I have an appointment. Let’s go for a walk at 12.30 before lunch.” These are easy going plans that create a sense of connection, with coming back together times as well as individual missions. It solves the drifting around feeling that couples often seem to have and a sense of losing each other in the drift!
Personal Journey Sharing
When you are very busy, sharing about what goes on for each of you personally can get left out of your lives. Maybe you give each other little snippets every so often “saw Tom yesterday” or ” had a tricky day at work”. That conveys some information but how about taking some intentional time to honour each other’s personal goings on? It would look like this:
Each of you takes time to do A Personal Journey Share, telling your partner what’s happening for you in your life and very importantly how you feel about it. You take turns with this and listen to one another with full attention, then give each other some supportive, affirming feedback. If you have helpful ideas to offer your partner, I suggest you ask first “Would you like a suggestion?” rather than launching into solution mode without knowing if this is wanted by the other one.
Enjoy your Relationship’s Spring revival and please let me know how it goes in the comments below.
With love to you and your relationship.