Hello and Welcome to Encounter No. 3 – Conscious Touch
This one is easy to describe as it’s a natural follow on when you are feeling emotionally close, warm and connected. It’s about taking the time to honour touch as something special: a giving and receiving. Of course, touch is already in your lives, hopefully a lot. But do you really notice it, relish it, slow it down, appreciate it fully?
You will need about 40mins for this Encounter. I suggest you have some slow, gentle music playing for this in your sacred, being together space.
You will get a much better idea of how to do this this by watching the video.
1.Settle down as usual and take your time to each close your eyes and do your own self connecting, breathing and slowing down. Take a few minutes.
2. Then, open your eyes and take time to simply be with one another… this is becoming a nice habit!
3. Now, one of you reach out and gently place your hands on your partner’s cheeks. Hold their face in this way for a few moments and then begin to tenderly stroke their face. Very important… before you actually begin the stroking, do ask your partner if it’s ok if you gently stroke their face. This may seem a bit twee or cheesy, but, believe me, it’s very beautiful to be asked “may I stroke your face?” It’s a lovely thing to do, even if you’ve been together for 30 years! And, this gentle stroking isn’t a massage. That’s something very different… also very nice, but different. This is simply loving touch.
Take your time to slowly, with awareness, caress and stroke your partner’s face, then gradually add their neck, and hair. Then include their shoulders, arms and hands. It’s good to stop there, as this is about stroking being an encounter in itself.
4.The one who is receiving is of course is in charge of how this feels for them. By that I mean, if the stroking is just right, light enough, firm enough, slow enough and so on, then that’s perfect. But, if at any time, it gets a bit uncomfortable or tickly or too fast, etc, then do say: ”please could you slow down” or “can you make the touch a bit lighter” or whatever. Ideally, (and this is related to the no blaming style mentioned last time), it’s best not to say ”Stop, not like that!” Or “I don’t like that”, for obvious reasons.
5. And, something else that goes with all this connecting is BREATHING! People look at me sometimes as if I’m mad when I say “don’t forget to breathe”, because, of course, we all think we’re breathing. Well, we are breathing! However, I’m talking about conscious, slow breathing. This can be a lovely feeling of taking a deep breath together, maybe even tuning your breath a little bit to each other’s breath. Slowing down, breathing, being, not doing much and feeling the closeness. Mmmm.
6. Each have a turn of giving and receiving. Then end with that Melting Hug again. This is possibly feeling quite delicious!
7. You may want to let each other know, taking turns to share, about the experience of Conscious Touch for each of you personally.
So, the holidays are upon us. I hope these Encounters have filled you up with some loving ideas for being together and enjoying your special times in your sacred space. You may like to invent more and more ways….
I would love to hear from you too once you’ve done the exercise, so please comment below!
I wish you a Happy Festive Season, however you do it, and see you in 2018!
With love to you and your relationship,